You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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