Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
