so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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