My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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