Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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