whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
