Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize