Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
