Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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