New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
