i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
