Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
