Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize