You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
