your room smells of hookers.
And success
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
