I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
