She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
is wine microwaveable?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
