When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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