i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
