out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
