I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
