All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
