I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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