New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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