he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
