Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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