Say something about gay babies.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dick very happy bro
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
