Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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