dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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