How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
either way he was missing a nipple.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize