theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
