I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
