Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
