Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize