you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize