she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize