just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
