Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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