I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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