guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
