Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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