You just made me feel so damn special
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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