wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
