Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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