I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
