grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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