In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
and you fell through a lawn chair
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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