I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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