Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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