why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
