His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
