he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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