I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
