That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
