sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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