You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
