Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are we still banned from the library?
foreskin is a definite game changer
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
