marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
