Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
