how can u be prego again
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the raccoons are back...
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