I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
