It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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