Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
