she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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