The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize