Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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