i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
