my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
