I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
