A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
